Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Too fat for a funeral... Been sick the last few weeks. Not back to 100% but finally starting to feel more like myself these past few days. Been on a carb and sugar binge. Not feeling well just eating whatever whenever. Ugh I'm so bloated and disgusting. I look 6 months pregnant. I have a funeral to attend tomorrow and there will be family I have gone no contact with there also. I am mortified to think they will see me looking this bloated and HUGE. I want to die. I'm considering not going. I know it's a funeral and it's not about me but I can't help these feelings. I haven't eaten yet today and I'm not sure if I'm going to do below 15g carbs or just fast. I want to take a fist full of lax and go to bed but Husband and I have been together all day so no chance to go buy any. I found some senna tea stashed away so I'm having that. At this point in the day I'm just going to fast. I know I can't achieve the appearance I'd like overnight but if I can get the food waste out and maybe get some water weight moving. I'm so fucking disgusting. Hydration will hopefully help my face/skin look a bit better. ugh. I was going to wear black skinny jeans with a black suit jacket but not sure what top won't make me look absolutely huge. Tight/fitted, tucked in -- accentuates the fat belly. Loose/flowy -- just makes me look bigger overall. I'm not sure what I will decide on, but for now water and tea. Hoping Husband doesn't say anything and just leaves it today. I just need to do this today and tomorrow. I have safe food for tomorrow evening. 3:01 p.m. - March 07, 2024 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||