Ramblings of the mind...

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The hangover...

7:50 am: 141.8. Up 1. Not bad considering but that's 2 pounds in 2 days. I'm not really hungover thankfully but I'll probably feel the carb hangover shortly. I gave in and let myself eat whatever at the party and I did but I didn't overeat. But after when we got home I had a few drinks and we smoked a joint around the fire (in honour of our deceased cat). Alcohol and cannabis make me binge. Make me feel uninhibited. I was hungry from the weed but the sadness in my soul got overwhelming and I NEEDED that comfort. I'm not happy about it but I don't think I'm too upset. I know I can get right back on track and lose again. I've done it before and I just did it even. I feel kind of numb. Still entering all the food items from yesterday in the tracker. Back to plan today. Plenty of water. Under 20g carbs (from veg/dairy -- no processed sugar today). Under 1200 cals. I might have some alcohol but only if it fits the calories and definitely no cannabis.

2:11 pm: Well I am almost assuredly going to end up over 20g carbs but should still be under 30. will not be happy but it's safe foods -- mostly veg -- so not going to be too hard on myself. It's still the weekend and I'm considering this a self care day (I know some might argue yesterday was but it slipped into a binge day so this is sort of like a taper I guess). They had diet root beer at the store finally so I'm having whiskey and that and it's just perfect. I had some mixed nuts earlier (trying to keep myself from getting too hungry to avoid another binge). I will have a few more drinks (all tracked) but definitely no cannabis today. That's definitely the main trigger. Making creamy coconut chicken for dinner. He'll have it with rice. I'll have it with roast broccoli and cauliflower. New recipe but the ingredients are ones I've worked with so think it'll be yum! Bone broth simmering on the stove. Dinner prep prepped and already tracked. I'm going to enjoy my drink and some loud music ^_^

2:11 p.m. - November 05, 2023

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