Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fucking finally I guess... 8:11 am: 139.8 which is down 0.6 and finally in the 130s. I did cave and eat some candy last night. About the same amount as the night before but it started making my stomach hurt so I didn't eat more. YAY FOR NOT BINGING! I have a birthday party to attend tomorrow and the host has been doing keto too I believe so there will hopefully be safe food options but either way I've decided I will eat whatever to be polite -- though I will still be conscious of portions and make sure to track. I will probably avoid dessert. Slept in later than I'd like today but that's okay I guess. Think I have gout in my finger so not sure what to do. Going to make sure to drink more water. Coffee and internet now. 10:35 pm: Long but decently productive day. Didn't get to eat anything safe until close to 6pm and I was hungry by then but okay. I wanted to use up the rest of the cabbage and it was a lot more than I was expecting. At first I was only going to eat half but that portion seemed too small so I ate the whole thing with chicken and 2 fried eggs put me at 715 cals and 24.6g carbs -- high but all from the cabbage and I've been feeling okay on slightly more carbs especially from veg. So great I was fine. I did my nails. Talked to my mom. Husband decided to drink and I wasn't going to but finally caved since there was this old bottle of wine hanging around. Too old though because it looked so gross and tasted off so I dumped it. I mean great, I don't need the alcohol or the calories. Except now the urge to binge on the leftover Halloween candy is LOUD. The last 2 nights I had a small portion and I stuck to it. I have some here with me and I don't know if I can do it. I think I'll want to keep eating. Even though my stomach is full. I'm not physically hungry. This is emotional hunger. I feel out of control. I need to put it away and wait this out. I'm so scared. I don't trust myself. I hate this. 10:35 p.m. - November 03, 2023 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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