Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fucked up but determined... 8:10 am: 141.4 which is down 0.2 and the same as the day before. Restricting is catching up to me. I didn't eat enough throughout the day yesterday and I wasn't on top of my electrolytes. I was hungry in the morning -- well my stomach was growling so body was hungry but head wasn't. We made meatballs in the slow cooker. I had nothing safe prepped/available and we went for 2 long walks instead of our usual 1. By dinner I wasn't starving but I was feeling weak. I planned for 6 meatballs and 294g spaghetti squash and I added some olive oil for fat calories. It was delicious. After 2 meatballs I was feeling full but I pushed on because even though this meal put me at 26g carbs it was from good sources and should still be fine at this point. I ended up eating 4 and about half the squash and sauce but I was FULL. So I stopped. Maybe I'd eat the rest later? We went to watch tv and I fell asleep. When I woke up around 10pm my husband had already gone up to bed so I got up to join him and I was so weak I had to sit back down. Okay I just stood up too fast. I got up slower and went upstairs and fed the cats but no the weakness was overwhelming. I wasn't dizzy but hypoglycemic definitely. I debated eating another meatball and I wish I had. I didn't binge but I reached for the chocolate in the cupboard. The thing I've avoided for so long. The thing I didn't start craving until this day really. I held it. I put it down. I know better. I said fuck it and opened it. 2 pieces. Then 2 more. And 2 MORE?! 6 pieces totalling 265 cals and 26.5g carbs ITSELF. But I stopped at 6. Before that I was at 564 cals and 16.2g carbs. I ended the day at 829 cals and 42.7g carbs. So aside from probably kicking myself out of ketosis I guess it was okay because weight down again. I still feel very weak now but I'm determined to make today better. I will try to eat 2 safe meals in the afternoon/evening. I'm so desperate to see the 130s. 8:10 a.m. - October 24, 2023 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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