Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another day.... 7:21 am: 142.6 which is down 0.6. I'm not sure how much longer this downward trend will continue without a stall or increase. I still feel/look a little bloated so there's probably more water weight to drop. Even if the losses are slow, as long as it's steady and if I can get better hydrated so my tummy and face lean out a bit I think I can stay in a safe place. My stomach was a little upset last night (I think I drank my electrolytes too quickly) and I had a nice evening watching TV and cuddling with my husband so didn't get a chance to update last night -- but ended at 958 cals and 11.8 net carbs. I had chamomile tea last night which was alright. Warm and comforting (though taste is just kind of meh). Having a little trouble sleeping. Not bad but idk not great? When I drink I sleep deeper or so it feels, though I read that sober sleeping is actually better and should get better so we'll see. I did smoke a little cannabis before dinner and thankfully that didn't trigger anything really. I guess it was a night of testing myself -- later in the evening my husband was eating sweet potato chips and he wanted me to try one. I declined but he kept pushing. He knows I LOVE sweet potato chips. I'm sure he's also aware I'm back to my old habits -- he sees me eating and we eat together but I'm not eating the carbs and I've been weighing and tracking my intake. So I ate one. He's the only thing more important than *this* and I've broken down in the past about not wanting to be this way so it's important to show I'm in control. One chip. I did panic and I did want to decline fully but I ate one and it was really good and I did log it and clearly it didn't affect my carbs sooo win? The thing about drinking in the evenings is it was something to do. It made me feel good and calm and uninhibited so I ate snacks (a lot... too many!) and kept drinking and watched TV until late. Every night. This weeks the evenings have felt... boring. But that's a good thing I guess because I'm hoping to get back into ready and knitting and other hobbies that are productive and fulfilling. And the gods know my liver could use the break. Anyway coffee is warm so I'm going to enjoy it and then get started with my day :) 2:09 pm: Went to warm up some broth but the jar broke in the pot. I heated it too fast. My fault. But that was all that was left. Husband asked if I was okay and if he could make me something else. I said no thanks I'm just doing to be grumpy about this for a bit. He said okay and gave me a hug. I love him. 10:21 pm: Tempting the fates tonight. Bought alcohol. It's Friday and we've both been so good. I wasn't going to bring it up but he wanted to go. I didn't buy my usual, I went with something I could control better. Because of keto I know I need to take it slower than usual. It has been 3 or 4 hours and I'm only halfway done the first. THAT really is a first for me. Normally I'd be almost half done a bottle by now. I'll take the win. 1096 cals and 19.2g carbs -- but that includes 30g of gouda that I haven't eaten yet. About half an hour my brain said if we don't eat the cheese we can have a second drink. Thankfully 10:21 p.m. - October 20, 2023 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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