Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Older but still the same? It's been a while, eh? I've been on a desperate mission the last few days to find some old friends online. Not to reach out because I think that would be weird. Just curiosity I guess. Wondering if they're okay. Hoping they are happy. A lot of things going on these days really driving home my mortality and the regret of letting relationships lapse. I don't even know what I'm doing here right now but something compelled me so here I am. A lot has changed and yet I don't feel all that different. 37 is creeping closer every day. My dieting habits have been up and down over the years. Currently around 147 give or take. I think my highest was close to 160 which is mortifying. The other year I got sucked in with a pro ana group and got myself down to 101. I decided to unfriend and leave that community because I wanted to be better. Family stuff got overwhelming and I didn't want to be sick. I didn't want to do that to my husband. But even as the weight crept back on the desire never truly left. I'm beginning to accept that maybe this is just a part of me and I should embrace it. Being drunk all the time and binging isn't health. I was dry for 4 days but still binging. I think I'm going to quit cannabis, cut back on drinking and try to get back to strict keto. See? Everything always comes back to this. I'm rambling so I guess I'll leave it here. 11:01 p.m. - October 14, 2023 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||