Ramblings of the mind... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another day, another... Up and down. Daily fluctuations. I'm headed in the right direction but it's difficult to not give in to the behaviours I know will make this process quicker. More satisfying. More painful and therefore real. I was really hungry yesterday. So I ate more here and there. Small extra amounts of safe things. The day still totalled higher than I would like but I'm down this morning. I wouldn't say there were any "binge urges" yesterday, just hunger. An intense craving for chocolate after dinner which I almost gave into but I had a small piece of bitter chocolate instead. Then a couple hours later again but this time just for anything sweet. Have a granola bar. Just one. My brain wasn't saying "yeah just give in and eat 4 granola bars and maybe some of the gooood chocolate and then whatever else you can find in the cupboards". No it wasn't saying that. But I was terrified if I even took one bite that it would become that. Consumed with thoughts of a food, consuming me with fear of thoughts of that dreaded binge brain. I hate it there. I'm glad I resisted. I'm too old for this shit. 6:18 a.m. - February 02, 2024 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||