every breath is fatal... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I feel like I'm getting old... I miss my parents. I feel like (minus all the issues I have with shyness and what not) I could hang out with both my mom and dad and have a great time. There's something in me that keeps me from getting close to people and I am not close to my parents but I mean... they raised me... so we have a lot in common. My husband doesn't like me anymore... the last few weeks we seem to have drifted apart. I hope it doesn't last and we're able to get past it... but even then I wonder. I wonder if I want things to get better. I don't really have any friends... when we do hang out with friends they are HIS friends - his friends from high school. He doesn't like my friends (the few I have). I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure how I feel. All I keep going back to is how I miss starving and cutting myself - but I'm 25 years old - for fuck's sake I can't go back to the drama... can I? If I've already lost him what can it hurt? What's the worst that can happen? not much rum left but I'm going to go drink myself into a stupor. 11:21 p.m. - March 17, 2012 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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