Ramblings of the mind...


I can't believe it's only Wednesday...

6:41 am: 146. Down 1.4. How? I did pretty well with eating until the evening but my period is starting (only 4 days late again...) and the carb cravings hit me insanely hard so I gave in and had 2 homemade Christmas cookies and some oatmeal. Also some wine but what else is new. I'll take the loss though, and keep pressing on doing my best to keep up with higher protein and low carbs and sugar I can. Going OUT for work today which will be a nice change. Weird morning, I was having a strange dream that wasn't /bad/ per se but wasn't good and I'm happy I was out of it but also could've gone back to sleep for another hour or two. Then the cats were fucking with the ceiling which hasn't really been a problem for the past year but this week has become an obsession so in my half awake barely had any coffee brain I've been trying to deal with that. Need to chug this coffee though as we need to leave by 9 and I want to head over to get a walk in. It's the most consistent exercise I do these days and my brain and body really need it. Need to figure out a plan for food today but I might just pack some nuts for the trip and plan dinner in the car. We'll see. I will try better to update when I'm back as it helps me stay focused and grounded to let the stream of consciousness in my head out.

5:41 pm: Avoided eating pizza with family earlier. Didn't bring nuts or anything either so fasted until about 4:30. Made a safe meal that I'm still working my way through. Going to have some more wine too because I just feel like I need to be numb. Not sure if the sugar will get to me tonight but it usually does so I'll try continuing to eat safe foods until I'm too sick to want to eat anything else!

5:41 p.m. - December 06, 2023


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